To God be the Glory...

I am not really sure how to write this, so if it seems confusing I will apologize up front.

God has been working hard on Joel and I in the last couple years.  It started with a discontentment in Joel's heart with the "normal life" he was living.  He started praying that God would use him mightily for His Kingdom.  After praying this for about 6 months, we discovered that he had cancer.  Going through cancer treatment was different for both of us.  Joel learned just how weak and nothing he really is of his own strength, and I learned about letting go.  Letting go of dreams, people, stuff.  We both grew closer to God in our personal relationship with Him, but in different ways. 

A year after cancer treatment we took the Perspectives class because of the changes we saw in Allen and Susan's life.  I was curious and skeptical that a class could change someone in ways that I didn't understand.  God used Perspectives in a powerful way in our lives.  It opened our eyes through the Bible that God's heart is that all men should come to know Him as a Savior, and he wants to use us.  Am I willing?  Just a quote from this weeks class that has stayed with me is "Across the street, and around the world".  Here and There.  We need to have both in our lives. 

January 8, 2012 will probably be a day I won't forget.  Both Joel and I missed the church announcements for miscellaneous reasons.  So that afternoon, before he went out to chore he checked our email to read the announcements.  That Sunday they announced at country the need for families to relocate from large churches to small ones.  It hit him like a ton of bricks, and he knew that he needed to pursue this.  So he comes upstairs and flops on the bed where I am trying to take a nap and asks, "So do you feel we should move?"  I answer, "No, why?"  When he tells me about the announcement, I get this pit in my stomach and the pieces begin to fall in place in my mind and heart.  This is why God has been working on me in all these different areas.  This is why last year when we tried to buy our place and prayed if it wasn't His will he would shut doors. That night we went to Joel's folks house just to hang out.  We were sitting on the couch talking to Mom and she asks, "So what are you guys praying about this month?"  We look at each other in disbelief and decide that since she asked, we will tell her.  We started praying for an opportunity to tell my parents, which was going to be a little more complicated because we work on the farm with them.  After about 2 weeks of praying for an opportunity, it came one when my Mom mentioned that the banker called and said that we could buy our house if we wanted.  The whole house situation made the decision very real.  After we told them about feeling led to relocate, they at least wanted us to pray about buying the house.  After praying about it, Joel and I felt that we would be willing stepping out of God's will  if we pursued the house.  Because buying the house would have been one of the next steps in getting involved in the farm, by not pursuing that it made it clear to everyone that our family will not be involved in the future of the farm.  I am not sure how getting out of the farm will look like or how long it will take, but we are moving that direction. 

We are praying that God will open a God opportunity somewhere.  We currently have no idea where He is leading us.  Joel and I have a desire to be involved with people and even a out-reach ministry of some kind, but are waiting on Him to open doors.  I asked Joel the other night, "Are we nuts for telling our family and friends what we are thinking?"  He said, "With getting out of the farm, I am not sure how it could be any other way"  So, I am going to let God be responsible for His own glory, and try to not worry about how it all turns out.  And, if you feel led to pray for us and our families, we would appreciate it!